WHAT WOMEN DON’T KNOW ABOUT MEN

By Robert Bake Tumuhaise

Towakana! Few women know that men cannot easily multitask. If I am doing something on my computer and you insist on telling me the story you watched in that Spanish a soap last night, even if I am saying “Okay, yeah, uuuuh…”, it is obvious that I am not following and if you want to catch me, ask me which name you just mentioned. I will be like “What were we talking about?” Men, we are like that. When we feel what you are saying is important to us and want to pay attention, we stop everything else and attend to you; if we don’t, it means what we are doing at the moment is our priority. Not in bad faith.

Women don’t seem to understand that men are not angels downloaded from heaven to know all the secrets of their hearts. So a woman will be so hurt, angry, worried or swamped by any other devastating mood, but when you ask her “What’s the problem?” She says “I am okay.” When you probe further and ask “Are you sure you are okay?” she insists “Yes”. She’s saying “Yes” because to her it’s obvious that you should see the problem on your own. You should notice that she’s hurt – you forgot to call back when you found her missed call last month (NB: Ladies have a memory of 45,000,000 GB so she can even pull an instance from 1982 and use it against you in 2014) or you smiled at a gorgeous lady that you met at the supermarket last month (never mind that she is your prayer-group-mate. Ladies, please, we are human; we are not angles and neither are we magicians, so always tell us exactly how you feel and what you want us to do, and we shall do exactly that.

Women don’t seem to know that we also want surprises. So they will expect us to surprise them with gifts on their birthdays, Valentines’ day and any other day. Sometimes she can even mention exactly the gift she wants you to ‘surprise’ her with e.g. “Honey, today, surprise me with a Nokia Asha 215; I saw my friend with it and it looked really, really nice.” Eisssssh! We men also want to be surprised. For instance when you initiate sex, you have sweetly surprised your husband (sorry for those who are not married, consider this point rated PG). You can surprise us by paying rent at home or office. You can surprise your man by taking the car to the garage, if he has been doing it all the time. And, finally (I saved the best for the last); the best surprise you ca

n give to your husband is to call 0704666851 and buy two tickets for the two of you (at 40k each) and tomorrow Wednesday 5th November 5:30pm take him to the National Theatre to attend the Authors’ Forum where 4 titans will be engaging the nation in a live debate on TURNING IDEAS INTO MONEY. If you give that surprise to your man and he doesn’t like it, then continue to fight for the Domestic Relations Bill to handle such uninspired (actually expired) men.

Bake is the MD, WORLD OF INSPIRATION and the Founder of Authors' Forum in Uganda.